Kay, I saw new moon. Let me say this: if you can think for yourself past the age where you know you don't need your parents for every little thing, Twilight should not be in your agenda.

That means you, future cougars of America.

MY GOD. The women over 40 were astounding in that movie theater. Mind you, I got awfully good seats for arriving early - and by early I mean 45 minutes before they allowed people to go into the screening instead, and I've NEVER stood in a line before to enter a movie theater. NEVER. I snagged middle row seats and complained over my melted chocolate bar, but that wasn't the end of it. Oh no, things were about to begin.

The previews were good, but people were getting rowdy. A kid was like 'FUCK YOU NO ONE CARES ABOUT THIS PREVIEW!' and 10-4328147237841 other kids agreed with him and demanded that the movie get started early. I don't know how they did it but after only 4 previews the movie began. And when the title came up, people were cheering and clapping, and the fucking moon didn't even wane all the way by the time they were hooping and hollering. My god what is wrong with people?

A friend of mine asked me if I could squeal with her when Taylor got on. ^{I'm not gonna lie, the boy is probably one of the only one with decent acting and a hell of a good body}, but when the 45 year old next to you is screaming her lungs off every time Edward kisses Bella, you know I'm not getting into the heart of things.


In general, Kristen Stuart was showing more of her epileptic side, Edward probably didn't look at her once during the entire movie. Something was very interesting off to the side, for some reason. I know he loves her smell to death but god don't look like you're taking a shit while you're talking. And get your damn lipstick off!

The supporting cast was the diamond in the rough. The diamond in this big fat stinking turd. I thought the werewolf pack was pretty good, and Emmett/Carlisle/Alice/Baby faced Mike, etc did their jobs well. The random placement of Dakota Fanning was casting we could do without, and I wish the other Volturi got more lines, because they could have saved some of the movie. The lead Volturi was pretty creepy, in my eyes.

The wolves....yeah, they were good CGI, but I don't know if they ever looked at a wolves's mouth before, because their jaws looked very much hinged. I felt like the beginning half of the moving had the most extreme pace I've ever seen in a movie and then next 2 hours were drawn by A FUCKING SNAIL. Seriously, I laughed in the movie, but I wondered how far the laughs would take me. I've fallen asleep in a movie once during Transformers ROTF and I thought it would never happen again. Granted, I took a showing right after class and with no nap so I can't complain.


I love how the movie ended on a cliffhanger because of the reaction of the audience. Girls had stood up and cried their fucking eyes out. I think movies can be made good solely on audience and that's why I love going to an opening night. The same thing happened during The Stepfather (6/10, original was better).
If you're a fan of this movie, just fucking go. I'm pretty sure you already have and you were enjoying the wispy Edwards popping up all over the place. I'll give it a 4/10, which is me being nice for a series I absolutely hate. Supporting cast, as I said, was good and should be praised more.

^{Go jump off a bridge, Robsten.}